yawn...im so bored right now.  My mission is not until tonight and I'm here trying to entertain myself.  Sleep is taking me but somehow I try to resist.  Anyway, I'm almost coming home, I hope that everyone is doing alright.  Argh......peace ya'll

Hey ya'll,

It's me the one and only!  I haven't been keeping up with this site lately and I apologize for that it's just that everything has been happening so quickly now days, too many people dying, and too much work has to be done.  I am still in Iraq fighting for the Iraqis' freedom, the freedom that they never had and never understood back when Sadam was still in office.  We are here segregated from our families, friends, and loved ones just to do a good cause.  It's funny to say that back then I used to think that this is an easy deployment, don't get me wrong I have fun doing what I do and working with the people i work with, but ever since those two soldiers died it made me think about the whole situation of this place.  When I go out on patrols (being the assigned medic for an element that consists of 4 up-armored hmvs and 15 personel) I always keep in mind the worst thing is about to happen.  It keeps me prepared and awake throughout the night.  In my mind I say "shit, one of my guys are gonna get hit and it's not gonna be nice and pretty but gross and nasty, like legs all over the place, meat splattered, bones shattered, and blood everywhere.  It's not easy to do my job, all that responsibility and all that heavy burden on my shoulders...shit...it's combat and people are getting killed.  Do you know what it feels like to have someone depend on you and in the end that person ends up dying cause doing your best is never enough?  I never had the feeling but I know who does and he's a really good friend of mine.  A roadside bomb killed one our soldiers.  The doctor said that his chances of living was slim to none...something that we're all afraid to hear yet we cannot alter reality...some people win and some people lose, some people live but some people don't make it.  It's just the way of life...struggles, obstacles, resistance, slim windows of opportunity, all that shit in your face.  Sometimes I think it's better to die than to go through the hardships of life, yet I find the challenge very intriguing and worth living.  Family and friends are always there, but I'm still looking for that special someone to be with...I thought I found her but she ended up just playing me for a fool...oh well that's the story of my life.  That's pretty much it, nothing much happening in this life, just bombs and bullets all around.

Peace in the Middle East

Prayer of a sympathetic combat medic

Lord today I've witnessed a lot of things in Iraq that really brought somber feelings.  As we pass by a wide road of emptiness I saw kids, not one but many, on the side waving at us as we passed by.  They spoke a completely different language but from their facial expression I understood what they wanted and what they needed.  Food.  It saddens me that some of these kids are deformed ie: one of the ones that was waving at me only had two fingers.  The other three were severed.  These kids don't deserve this life.  How is it that they are brought upon this world to suffer like this.  Please give me a sign if I'm wrong, is this your way is showing me that I am living a great and wealthy life?  If it is then I just want you to know that it's definitely working.  In my thoughts I started to miss my siblings dearly, speacially the youngest ones.  What if the same were to happen to them?  I consider myself lucky and I thank you for it.  My prayers always consisted of my undying appreciation for your care not only for myself but for my family, friends, and loved ones.  Is there any way that I can help these people without interfering with my job as a medic?  It's hard for one man to make a difference, but doing nothing achieve nothing at all.  I know that this sympathetic feeling is temporary and I might not feel the same way once I get to know them better, but I know deep in each and every children's heart lies ignorance and innocence.  Two of the most common factors for manipulating their minds so easily.  Please help me figure it out.  I never expected it to be this way nor expected myself to show so much compassion.  Even my fellow soldier MGR was crushed by the scene of kids on the road trying to beg for food from the military convoys that passes by.  My only regret is not being able to help everyone of them...please magnify my voice so that many people can hear me and show sympathy.  I cannot do this alone I need help. 

There are things in this world that most of us don't appreciate a lot.  Sometimes we need to see things for us to believe how lucky and blessed we are.  I thank you for the enligtenment.  If I can, I am willing to sacrifice my life for the betterment of the majority, these kids specially.  I don't even know them yet somehow I know that in the future these kids will make great leaders.  That's what we need. 

I thank you for all the blessings that you've given me and for the love and care that you willingly provided.  Please keep my brothers and sisters safe always and also my family and friends.  This is all I ask for today, for today I feel different and I feel like I've come to understand what war is truly about.  It's about bringing many nations together and to make them realize the little bit of things that they overlook too much and that is the well being of their people.  People is what make countries, not power. 

Thank you for everything and for always being by my side.

In your name I pray,

Amen.

Hmmm....today it's about 615 in the morning in Kuwait.  Temperature is pretty cold and environment? very sandy.  Came in four days ago...nice trip but a bit too long of airtime for me.  We get to stop by maine, Ireland, and Germany though.  It was nice.  Once we got down the airport here in kuwait we were escorted by Iraqi police to the base, really cool.  It's almost like the US, the only difference is that people wear turbans.

Well anyway, for a medic like myself work just never stops.  I have to report to two companies, both Delta and Headquarters.  It seems so hectic at times but I guess a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.  I just can't stand people crying over simple things like small cuts, a little headache, or being sick. For crying out loud everyone can buy band-aids, cough syrups, or tylenol over the counter...I say, "if it's life threatening, then call for a medic, if it's otherwise, go to sick call". They're all like,"idon't want to go to sick call and just want to tough it out" well, einstein you wanna tough it out, stop crying like a little bitch and tough it out.  I don't mean to be harsh, but sometimes i think about the things that really matters...prevention is the number one thing that i always emphasize on...they should take care of themselves always.  I can't take care of five different plattoons at the same time, i try my best though.

Well, anyways that's all i got i guess.  ya'll take cares. peace out.

Life is great......until you start running out of things to do.

As of right now I'm enjoying myself with the comfort of a friend's company.  San Francisco is a really nice place and I wouldn't mind moving in here just so I can live the night life.  There's so many things going on and so many places to visit...the possibilities are almost endless.  I have a lot of things to look forward to and things that I wanna get back to after the deployment.  I'm still bummed out because I know that I can't start anything with "her" that I can't finish...maybe if I knew that I'm definitely coming back, then I'll tell her and show her that I really want to be there...right now the thought and the feelings are mutual but like I said, I can't start something that I might not be able to finish.  All that matters is that she knows that I love her very much...and she knows.  I'm glad that we're living together for this two-week vacation, she's the only person I wanna spend my life with...and it seems like my days are coming to an end as I watch the hands of time passes every second.  I'm very thankful for this opportunity, very thankful for her.